So you made it through Thanksgiving with your family. No fights about hot topics that could have made someone start a food fight? Good, good, but now you have to make it through your family’s Christmas parties without having to call 9-1-1. Here are a few things you might want to avoid talking about around the Christmas tree.
5. Grandkids – You know you’re going to be surrounded by family members bugging you about when you’re going to finally have a baby. If the subject comes up, offer to do the dishes. I know it’s a pain in the neck but it’s either get dishpan hands or listen to the tias talking about your biological clock.
4. Wine – Or any kind of alcohol really, especially the amount of alcohol you’re drinking. If you want to put away a couple of bottles of wine to celebrate the season, make sure it’s with your friends or at the bar, but don’t do it around the familia. You’ll never hear the end of it, and you might find a self-help book in your Christmas stocking.
3. Your job – Just smile when your aunt starts talking about your cousin who just made partner in a big New York law firm. Tell her that you just learned how to work the french fry machine at work, so things are looking up for you, too. It’ll make your aunt feel superior, and she’ll leave you alone out of pity.
2. Your love life – You know the Hallmark Christmas movies when the heroine persuades her friend to pretend like they’re her boyfriend? It might look cute on tv but in real life it will probably end up with your friend falling in love with your cousin because real life isn’t a Hallmark Christmas movie. Go alone and take the side eyes about being manless or keep checking your phone like you’re getting sweet and sexy text messages from your boyfriend who had to go out of town to see his family. No one needs to know you’re really swiping right.
1. Politics – Two words – Just. Don’t.